| allhands.archive.0606 - Message 74 |
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| "norma ogle" JUNEOKC3 | Fw: Navigator | Thu, 8 Jun 2006 14:39:22 -0500 |
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----- Original Message ---
Subject: Navigator
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00
(with monthly payments of $560.00). He and a friend go
duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It's mid-winter; and
of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys
go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of
course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking open
water area for the ducks to focus on, something for
the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice
large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to
take a little more power than the average drill auger
can produce. So, out of the back of the new Navigator
comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse.
Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip
on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the
fuse and becoming toast, along with the Navigator),
decide on the following course of action: they light
the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they
throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned
the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???
Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab
used for RETRIEVING... especially things thrown by the
owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the
ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of
dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it
hits the ice. The two men swallow, blink, start
waving their arms and, with veins in their necks
swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and
holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently
cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter
panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The
shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough
to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment,
slightly confused, then continues on.
Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and of course terrified,
thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog
takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new
Navigator.
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot
exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end,
he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes
off after his master.
Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! !
! !
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of
the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with
"I can't believe this just happened" looks on their
faces. The insurance company says that sinking a
vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT
COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make
the first of those $560.00 a month payments.
The dog is okay. . .doing fine.
(Thanks to God and not to owners.)
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